Boom gates for Barkly St roundabout to manage Main St traffic
Work has begun to install boom gates at the Barkly Street roundabout in Main Street, Mornington.
It is hoped that, once completed, it will further slow traffic at the intersection, and ensure even greater pedestrian safety.
“Luck was really on our side here,” said Project Manager Darren Swinderfufel. “We were scratching our heads wondering what to do next when Lady Lucky took over.”
It was a chance encounter while Gavin from purchasing was selling his camper trailer on Gumtree. There they were like pairs of giant jousting sticks. Now discarded due to the level crossing removal works. Four sets of rail boom gates.
“It was an amazing find” said Mr Swinderfufel. “Apart from the obvious fact that Gavin was violating workplace policy by selling his camper trailer during work hours, it was an amazing find.”
The plan is to install the boom gates at all four entrances to the Barkly Street/Main Street roundabout.
“We started this project with the aim to slow the traffic as much as possible.
“Placing the zebra crossings at all four of the entrances has been really successful. A driver might be able to get into the roundabout, but once he goes to exit, he finds a group of senior citizens that have bused in for Wednesday Market crossing at the speed of a lazy snail.
“The driver is then trapped in the roundabout, which has the added bonus of stopping all other traffic from getting through.”
The The Public Record decided to inspect the roundabout first hand, and dispatched their award winning reporter Derrick DiMaggio to investigate.
DiMaggio has not been seen or heard of since, but a reports have filtered back to headquarters of an “unhinged” man dressed in nothing more than Main Street Mornington hessian shopping bags fashioned into clothes, living in his car at the roundabout, screaming at pedestrians in a unrecognisable language, believed to be the tongue of the extinct Amazonian Bororo Tribe.
A random message received at TPR headquarters via morse code is believed to be from DiMaggio.
“Stuck. Stop. Out of fuel. Stop. Surviving on quinoa salad and café latte. Stop. Costs mounting. Stop. Don’t worry. Stop. Told them I work at Mornington News. Stop. They should receive large expense account. Stop. As for roundabout. Stop. Tell them to stop. Stop.”
But the future looks bright for the roundabout and the authorities plan is “zero”.
“I think they wanted zero accidents to be honest,” said Mr. Swinderfufel “So we took it one step further”.
“If we have zero cars getting through the roundabout, then we’ll have zero accidents. It really is a win for common sense.”
And the future plans?
“Well, if the boom gates don’t bring traffic at the Barkly Street roundabout to a grinding halt, we have a few other options”.
Asked what they were Mr Swinderfufel declined to elaborate except to say that pits of burning oil and sharpshooters on surrounding buildings taking out drivers who looked like they might successfully navigate the roundabout had all been put on the table as options.