Authorities appear to be at a loss when it comes to preventing the constant damage and consequent repairs to Mornington Pier.
Frustration at the situation has led to rumours of a fix to remedy the situation once and for all.
“It is obviously impossible to keep repairing the pier year after year as it gets destroyed time and time again,” explained a government official on the grounds of anonymity.
“So we are currently looking at removing the pier and placing it somewhere less likely to be battered around”.
Pressed by our reporter, Derrick DiMaggio, as to the possible new location of Mornington Pier, the official appeared to mumble “Moorooduc… perhaps?” under his breathe.
Despite a distinct lack of water, Moorooduc would ensure the pier would be safe from the winter storms that leave most of the pier on the bottom of the bay every time they swing through.
“We have to look at the bright side,” said the government official. “Most of the pier lying on the bottom of the bay has been a wonderful artificial reef, and a boon for fish breeding. It would make wonderful fishing…. were the pier to fish from not mostly on the bottom of the bay”.
The original wave screens were damaged by major storms in July and October 2016. Violent storms in previous years inflicted similar damage.
The suggestion that building a breakwater on the site to protect not only the pier but the yachts moored nearby was discounted quickly by the official.
“That is not going to happen. We’re not prepared to admit defeat here.”
But when pressed by reporter DiMaggio about the ongoing loss of yachts, the official offered what seems like a viable solution.
“We wouldn’t be against the idea of yacht owners moving their yachts to Moorooduc too.”
